regarding polygamy and feminism

If you are coming here to find answers to difficult questions, you will be disappointed. If you want to know the why of polygamy: good luck.

(BTW - when you find out the real, honest, spiritual answer, would you mind cluing me in?)

I can imagine that what I write here is not going to be enough for people out there that are furious. Quite frankly, there is enough reason to be. The history of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding polygamy is pretty well defined as uncool, confusing, secretive and sketchy.

(PS, don't ask me the details because I don't know them. I'm highly under-read on this issue. Call me a bad feminist, but I honestly don't care to know, either.)

Before you read what I have written below, you must read this.

I was just saying what I feel about a particular element of my life. That's it. I was, if you will, sharing the things that God has spoken to my heart over the last two years.

I had no idea what an uproar of emotion and anger it would cause.

Let's just say there were raised voices and hurt feelings.

From the heated discussion, I learned a few things. Most of them I'm actually not going to discuss here.

In the calm after the storm, I was a little upset at myself for not being more angry. If I really believed that women have been wronged, shouldn't I be steaming and screaming? Shouldn't I be demanding justice and equality?

But I think that would go against everything I've decided is important to me. I'm hurt, not angry. I'm looking for healing, not revenge.

Vengeance gives no peace to the suffering soul.

Regardless, I began to think about why I'm not screaming for answers.

Perhaps all that yelling is covering up what the real question is.

Instead of asking why polygamy?

Maybe the question should be: God, do you love me?

I know God loves me. Regardless of the fact that I don't understand why women have appeared to be second class citizens, I know that my Father has never seen me that way. I know there is a reason and I'm okay with the fact that I don't know that reason.

He has never asked me to be an incompetent person. He's told me over and over and over to be brave, stand for what I believe. He's told me that I could do and be so much better. He's told me that being a woman makes me something marvelous and even spectacular.

If He's never told you that, ask Him about it. Of all the questions God answers, the one He likes most of all is, "Do you love me?"

The answer always has been and always will be a resounding, "Yes."

A few times He's told me so:

25 things that I've learned so far in Ecuador
Who is God?
the top ten things i learned in ghana - 1
the top ten things i learned in ghana - 3
an english dictionary - g
growing pains: the hardest part about moving home
the women of god
what makes me beautiful
the fire of motherhood