nostalgia - to want or desire for something that once was and may never be again
I went to a film called Nostalgia for the Light. After hearing that it was going to be in Spanish I got all excited on the inside like I always do thinking about the chance to brush up on my language listening skills. It was going to be great!
The film is about women in the desert of Atacama in Chile that are still looking for the remains of their loved ones from the regime of Pinochet during the early 1970s to early 1980s. I couldn't help but think (rather compassion-lessly) that those women should just try to move on.
That was years ago, my friend. I know you love your brother, but what good will it do to find his remains now? Will it bring him back? Will it prove someone wrong?
I was looking for the reason why these women would act like this: maybe it's their culture, not to let go. Maybe their personality. Maybe their religion.
Maybe I'm not looking for my brother's body in the desert, but I am holding a grudge. Even after years have gone by I can't stop thinking about this person that did that thing that made me feel this way.
I act the same way as these women. Searching in the wasteland of bad memories for something that will give me closure or assurance.
Or maybe I like to open up the wound because it gives me power. The power of being right or the power of feeling wronged. Or just something horrible to think about when I'm feeling particularly bad about myself.
Those things won't go away without any effort on my part.
It's silly to think that holes will fill without it.
Pick up. Move one. Forget. Forgive. Forge ahead. Leave it behind.
After all. Everything I've been through would be much easier to let go of in comparison with the unceremonious death of my brother.
After all. Everything I've been through would be much easier to let go of in comparison with the unceremonious death of my brother.
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