kay, so as usual I´m going to report on the food that I´ve eaten this last week: guatita. Don´t know if you remember what it is, so let me remind you. Cow intestines. But, if you can beleive it, it was worse this time. Texture: melted rubber balls. Taste: (I´m not exaggering on this one, I´m dead serious) wet, dirty, dog. I seriously was gagging it down and the Hermana that made it for us was watching us eat it. Now every time that I catch a whiff of wet animal I want to hurl. Just writing about it is making me have nausia. ( I know that is totally Spanglish, but I don´t know how else to say it...)
CHANGE OF SUBJECT
I got a letter from a friend from high school this week, Brittany. It made me really think about why I´m here, so that´s what I´m going to write about.
Going on a mission was the absolute best decision I have ever made in my entire life. To anyone out there that reads this and is thinking about it, do it. do it. do it.
I have never felt so close to God and Jesus Christ in the whole of my existance, yet never felt more like a sinner either. I have never been more connected with myself, what I really want, what I feel like I was born to do, who I want to be. It´s like there is a channel of communication directly from God, the Father of my spirit, and my soul that was never there before. I´ve come to know the reality of spiritual health and how it controls everything that we think and feel. I´ve never better understood the Atonement and my desperate, personal need for Jesus Christ.
I´ve also never felt more love for other people. I can not count how many tears I´ve cried for the pride or ignorance or the stubborness or the dispare of the people around me. I feel like I have a huge responsibility to take care of the inner well being of every person that passes me on the street, every person that comes to church or that I talk to. I´ve never felt so guilty for not asking how someone was or passing by their house to make sure that they´ve read their scriptures or prayed to their Maker that day.
I think all the time about that talk that I listened to in the MTC by Elder Holland, that this is real life. That all that stuff that I did before was a false imitation of what it´s all about. This is my very short oppurtunity to see so clearly the hand of God in the breaking of hearts and the contriting of spirits (don´t know if those are words, but it sounds like they work). What miracle to see lives changed and the love that Christ has for every person on earth. Thinking about who I once was and who I am now, I feel like I´m a totally different person, that finally I´ve come to be the person that I´ve always wanted to be, but was scared because I cared too much about what everyone around me was going to say if I stood up for what I really wanted, deep down inside of it all.
I don´t want it to end. Thank goodness I´ve got a while left...
Love. Love. Love.
Hermana Cooper
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